My introduction to Lina came through Facebook when my friend Joy mentioned her and her study group. Well, if you know my friend Joy, you know that I immediately took note as Joy is one of the most godly women I know and an unofficial mentor of mine without knowing it. I 'met' her in blogging land many years ago and am so grateful for her input in my life.
This was around the time that a debilitating health issue began for me that sent me desperately to God. In an App that another friend, Sylvia, sent me, called Pause, a prayer contained the words, "Lord, heal my union with You." Then I listened to a talk by Lina where she mentioned how we sometimes feel disconnected from God because our hearts have become hardened over time as we looked away from Him during the hard times, instead of leaning into Him. (That is a gist, not a quote.) There was something about the way she said it that resonated with me. Deeply. I had read about hardened hearts in the OT but I never applied it to myself. Suddenly I realized that the numbness I had adopted over several years had caused my heart to harden, even as I still said and did all things 'Christian'. Mostly. But Bible reading had become sporadic and rote, having no effect. Prayer was also rote. I never deconstructed to disbelief because of the precious times I had experienced with God many years ago. I believed now that He blessed others and heard their prayers but somehow I was not worth His time or attention. Interestingly that was how I felt about my pastor and church. My church had felt unsafe for a long time because of deep wounds many years ago by the leadership. We continued to go there always feeling the sting of rejection and being labelled 'unworthy' each time we stepped through the doors. Our issues were 'swept under the image keeping rug' in the church. Thus we were never allowed to heal.
Then another friend exhorted me to "get into the Word." (Thank you, Susan!)
I took note. Because many years ago I had sensed a voice telling me to do just that. Thus started my healing with union with God. A prayer healing session carried me through forgiveness again to the church and others who had hurt me. I started reading my Bible again, this time with intentionality and taking notes. Even though I have read through the Bible a couple of times, it seemed as if I was seeing some things for the first time and being wowed! Even as I desperately wanted to be healed physically and still do, I found myself yearning something more. God. Even a whiff of His Presence was satisfying.
I realize that His Presence is all I need and it does not matter if I am healed or not, His Presence would carry me through anything and would never leave me. I found myself longing for the manifestation of the Holy Spirit I read of in Acts. What God did was to show me He was there in my every day life. In the skies, the trees, the flowers, the people around me, the friends on social media.
When I saw Lina talking about joining a Launch team for her new book and I saw the summary, it immediately resonated, but I felt unworthy, plus this health issue limits how much I can do. Nevertheless, I volunteered but soon after felt guilty as I had flare-ups and could not immediately get into the book, and it was doubly hard because it was not a hard copy but had to read online. I had to stop comparing myself to others who were so eagerly doing all that a team member should do and doing what I could.
I finally did get through the book in 2 nights! It was extremely easy to read and flowed wonderfully. I could identify with much of what she shared and realized why her words months ago had resonated so deeply. She had walked where I walked! Strangely enough, I had been through 2 traumatic events that changed my life forever, a broken engagement, and being wounded by the church, something she herself had gone through. As I read, I was writing where it resonated, as if I were a highlighting a hard copy. Needless to say, I have several pages of quotes with asterisks! I wish I could purchase a bunch of copies to give away! Until I have the resources, I can share my words at no cost.
This is my review on Amazon and GoodReads:
"Out of nowhere life circumstances can suddenly hit us so hard, we are left numb and disoriented. Betrayed and rejected. Disappointed and deeply wounded. For a Christian, our personal theology of God begins to shatter. Lina deals with this as she shares in her authentic and diagnostic style how her own faith started to deconstruct with her pain of disillusionment with her church and relationships, and also God’s seeming absence in her pain. Like many others who have walked similar journeys, I found myself having many ‘aha’ moments as Lina clearly defined for me what I had experienced and the state of my heart and soul. Here was someone who understood! She also showed me the path to a reconstruction and new hope. This reconstruction builds a firmer foundation for when the next wave hits. And it will as long as we are here on earth. That foundation is rooted in God’s goodness that never falters in rain or shine.
I heartily recommend Lina’s book to anyone who has experienced such deep disappointments in life. I love Lina’s no-frill user-friendly style which reminds me of Rick Warren’s style in Purpose-Driven Life. Our church needs this book today as I believe there are many jaded Christians sitting in our pews or leaving the church because God has not lived up to their expectations. The searching questions at the end of each chapter are great for those who wish to pursue this as a small group or personal study.
Thank you, Lina, for saying ‘yes’ to God and sharing your heart so honestly."
Thank you, Joy and Lina for getting me started on this healing journey.
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