He felt it too...

Last night was a sleepless one. Had a dental appointment yesterday and only ate once. The consequence for me: GAS PAINS! Late at night. Then thoughts started swirling, so I came down to write. I started to write about defining moments in my life and realized how hard it was. It was painful but I needed to confront the pain head-on. He has prepared me for this. One of my painful memories that still becomes a present reality at times is when I see in the eyes or hear in a subtle manner, "You do not belong here."

In Malcolm Muggeridge's Mother Teresa Of Calcutta: A Gift For God, he quotes Mother Teresa:

"When Christ said: "I was hungry and you fed me," he didn't mean only the hunger for bread and food; he also meant the hunger to be loved. Jesus Himself experienced this loneliness. He came amongst His own and His own received Him not, and it hurt Him then and it continues to hurt Him. The same hunger, the same loneliness, the same having no one to be accepted by and to be loved and wanted by. Every human being in that case resembles Christ in His loneliness; and that is the hardest part, that's real hunger.

I distinctly remember as an international student here, away from my family, being called "Paki". I had no idea that Pakistanis were the newly stigmatized group, nor was I from Pakistan. I was called "Chink!" I was not from China. I did not want to party with my roommate, so I was deemed "feels-she's-too-good-for-us".

I went to a large Christian church, but realized I was 'invisible' as no one interacted with me. I attended a Christian youth group in college but soon realized that outside of the group meeting, the leaders wanted no interaction as they passed me straight.

Not too long after, it dawned on me that missions was inviting and acceptable to most as long as those 'natives' stayed in their foreign land. Having them on their doorsteps was much too uncomfortable especially when the stereotype assumptions came into play.

I remember viewing the Billy Graham film, "The Young Ones" and buying the LP. I played the song, "I Love You" over and over again, just to hear someone say those words. Now I look back and see how precious that time was, as now emptied of all familiar, of all support, I looked to God to become my everything. My faith grew as never before. Andrae Crouch's singing, "Through It All" became my theme song:

Through It All

[Lyrics by Ray Boltz]

I've had many tears and sorrows,

I've had questions for tomorrow,

There've been times I didn't know right from wrong:

But in every situation

God gave blessed consolation

That my trials come to only make me strong.

Through it all, through it all,

I've learned to trust in Jesus,

I've learned to trust in God;

Through it all, through it all,

I've learned to depend upon His Word.

I've been to lots of places,

And I've seen a lot of faces,

There've been times I felt so all alone;

But in my lonely hours,

Yes, those precious lonely hours,

Jesus let me know that I was His own.

Through it all, through it all,

I've learned to trust in Jesus,

I've learned to trust in God;

Through it all, through it all,

I've learned to depend upon His Word.

I thank God for the mountains,

And I thank Him for the valleys,

I thank Him for the storms

He brought me through;

For if I'd never had a problem

I wouldn't know that He could solve them,

I'd never know what faith in God could do.

Through it all, through it all,

I've learned to trust in Jesus,

I've learned to trust in God;

Through it all, through it all,

I've learned to depend upon His Word.

Are you facing a season of loneliness now? Then hunger for His love. Let His love fill you. Share with us if you want in the comments section.

I bless you with the kind of trust that comes only in this season.

~Love, Sita~