1 Be mercifulandgracious to me, O God, be mercifuland gracious to me, for my soul takes refugeandfinds shelterand confidence in You; yes, in the shadow of Your wings will I take refugeandbe confident until calamitiesanddestructive storms are passed.
2 I will cry to God Most High, Who performs on my behalf andrewards me [Who brings to pass His purposes for me and surely completes them]!
3 He will send from heaven and save me from the slanders andreproaches of him who would trample me down or swallow me up, and He will put him to shame.Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! God will send forth His mercy and loving-kindness and His truth and faithfulness.
This past week, I confess I've wanted to curl up like a baby, put my hands over my ears, and close my eyes, cross my fingers, hoping beyond hope that I will wake up to realize that present circumstances were just a dream, not real. After all, God is the God of the impossible, right?
Instead I wake up and the circumstances are a little more desperate. My stomach is constantly in knots. Makes me realize how very far I have to go in grasping the releasing with thanks so that His peace pervades (Phil.4:6-7). My body just does not sync with the words I utter. One day.
I've been reading a lot about faith. My last post revealed a 'word' given to me. And yes, you may ask, have I doubted since then? Absolutely. Was my friend trying to conjure up a special word for me to make me feel better? Was it perhaps my lack of faith that hampered God's outpouring? Well, the fact remains that nothing can stop God's mercy. Not even me. It is totally undeserved. So that's that. My family is so far away. They pray. My cyber friends pray. I'm mostly concerned for my sons, their well being, spiritual, physical and mental. And so, I will continue to cry out to the Only One Who is able and present.
The song that expresses my heart is: Rescue Me by Selah...
Deep is the river that I have to cross Heavy the weight on my shoulder I have discovered how great is the cost Of trying alone to cross over I try and I try but the current’s too strong It’s pulling me under and my strength is gone Don’t leave me stranded
Rescue me, my God and my King, Water is rising and I cannot breathe, Wrap your arms all around me and Carry me over (rescue me) Carry me over
There is a bridge that is easy to cross While all of our burdens are lifted Peace is the land that is waiting for us Lord, give me faith to believe it Cause I’m in a storm but I’m willing to fight I’ll overcome and I will not die with You by my side
Rescue me, my God and my King, Water’s are rising and I cannot breathe, Wrap your arms all around me and Carry me over (rescue me) Carry me over
I will sail over the oceans and High over the mountains and Soar up to the Heavens Here is my hand is my heart and my soul and my mind
Rescue me, my God and my King, The water’s are rising and I cannot breathe, Wrap your arms all around me and Carry me over Rescue me, my God and my King, You are the only one who can save me Wrap your arms all around me and Carry me over (rescue me) Carry me over (rescue me) Carry me over (rescue me)
7 Elisha replied, “Hear the word of the Lord. This is what the Lord says: About this time tomorrow, a seah of the finest flour will sell for a shekel and two seahs of barley for a shekel at the gate of Samaria.”
2 The officer on whose arm the king was leaning said to the man of God, “Look, even if the Lord should open the floodgates of the heavens, could this happen?”
“You will see it with your own eyes,” answered Elisha, “but you will not eat any of it!”
The impossible surrounds me. The realist in me should say like the king's officer, "Yeah, right, could this really happen? Who are you kidding?" But, I know my God. He is able. And He gives not because I deserve more than anyone else, but because He is God Who grants grace to the undeserving and deserving by human standards.
But the wonderful sister in the Lord who stopped me on the way out from church had been praying for me. And when she saw this 'word', she knew she had to share. "Tomorrow...the floodgates of heaven..." I am not sure exactly how this is panning out, but I do know I must believe lest like the king's officer, I am excluded from partaking in God's gift.
Tomorrow. The floodgates of heaven. I'm not sure what that means exactly for I have learnt that His thoughts may not be mine. I do know what I want it to mean. May it be as You deem fit, my Lord. May You show up in might and power. May my sons be in awe of You, for there will be no mistaking that it is You. "Like a crashing wave rolling over me, Holy Love, flow in me."
HOLY LOVE
Many waters cannot quench your love,
rivers cannot overwhelm it
Oceans of fe
ar
cannot con
ceal your
love for me
Many waters cannot quench your love,
rivers cannot overwhelm it
Oceans of fe
ar
cannot con
ceal your
love for me
Your
love for me
Holy love,
flow in me
Fill me up
Like the
deepest sea
Like a
crashing wave pouring
over me
Holy love flow in
me
Many sorrows cannot quench your love, darkness cannot overwhelm it
I will not fear, your love is here to comfort me
Many sorrows cannot quench your love, darkness cannot overwhelm it
I will not fear, your love is here to comfort me
You comfort me
Nathan, you came into our lives 19 years ago, and look what happened to you!
As you can see, you've become a diverse kind of guy...the actor, quizzer, charmer, server, TDCH, TCS, big brother, son, grandson, Grebel, Waterloo, writer, biker, baller, Bollywood....
But, what remains in the end is only what is eternal and the verse that God brought to mind for you this year is:
Psalm 90:12
English Standard Version (ESV)
12 So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.
God is calling you to stewardship this year, stewardship of your time, energies and heart.
He is calling you to a heart of wisdom.
One of my most repeated prayers for both of my sons in remembering the verse :Proverbs 1:7
(Amplified Bible) The reverentandworshipful fear of the Lord is the beginningandthe principalandchoice part of knowledge [its starting point and its essence]; but fools despise skillfulandgodly Wisdom, instruction,and discipline,is that you would indeed continue to seek godly wisdom and instruction and not avoid the discipline involved. It is within the boundaries of a disciplined life that we are truly free to grow wisely.
Read the classics of our faith, listen to sermons from godly men, read biographies of men of true greatness in the faith.
You've made a great start and my heart is warmed to see some of the books you read and your spiritual insights.
But what has truly blessed me this year was hearing you pray.
You, my son, have been given a gift of stubborn faith that shows contempt for outward circumstances as you recite the facts of Who God is. Many times, you have filled my heart with hope as I listen to you.
Share your prayers with those in your residence, with your buddies. They need to hear your prayers.
But more than anything, God needs to hear you.
Everyday. Make time for Him.
For it is He Who will fuel your prayers, your hope, your faith, your love.
So my son, have a wonderful 19th year. I am blessed to call you, "Son".
Love, Mom
The TCS Actor
The quizzer
The Writer
The adoring big brother
The 3-bro-bud-gang
The Biker guy
The Bollywood guy
The Charmer
The DR service guy
The Dunker
The Graduate
The Ladies Man
The OWL
The Prom King
The Quebec history trip guy
The Sailor
The TDCH Actor
The Valedictorian with hat prob
The Alabama service guy
The beach bum with attitude
The Waterloo-Quad guy
The Hockey Player
The I'm so cute guy
The I-should-sleep-more-guy
The TDCH buds guy
May your lifesong continue to sing for Him and for all those you touch.
This post is just me working it out--processing my life through God and His Word so it may not make any sense to you if you pop by, so feel free to peruse the archives.
Another painful crossroad. I've been repeatedly told that I need to take hold of and claim God's promises to me. Except I keep searching for that personal promise to me and it just seems to elude me. So again I cried out to God today.
This is what caught my eye in my FB newsfeed today (highlighted portions mine): ~David Mainse~ (http://www.100words.ca/) Key Verse: Genesis 28:15 “…Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you.” God makes promises! In this way He encouraged Jacob. Jacob had heard the stories of God’s promises to his grandfather Abraham and his father Isaac over and over again. It has been said, “God has no grandchildren.” In other words, every generation must enter into a personal relationship with God. Jacob [Sita] needed to hear from God. He was in a place of turmoil, running away from home, driven to desperate measures because of his own bad decisions. Jacob may have been blaming his disfunctional family. No doubt that night trying to sleep with a stone as his pillow was truly a “dark night of the soul.” But “between a rock and a hard place,” God took the initiative [Please, Lord, do so in my situation, now] and gave Jacob assurance of His Presence. From this place going forward, Jacob knew he would never be alone again. God would fulfill all of His promises. PRAYER FOR TODAY: [I also prayed this sincerely] God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, I humbly call on You. Please speak to me. I need You! Please give me a promise for my life, for my future as You did for Jacob. In the Name of Your Son, Jesus, I pray. Amen!
Then I went to my Bible reading for today. I asked the Lord to please show me a promise, for me. This is what I read in Deuteronomy 26:16-19 (The Message):
16-17 This very day God, your God, commands you to follow these rules and regulations, to live them out with everything you have in you. You've renewed your vows today that God is your God, that you'll live the way he shows you; do what he tells you in the rules, regulations, and commandments; and listen obediently to him.
18-19 And today God has reaffirmed that you are dearly held treasure just as he promised, a people entrusted with keeping his commandments, a people set high above all other nations that he's made, high in praise, fame, and honor: you're a people holy to God, your God. That's what he has promised.
What?! Really? If...I obey all His commands, His promise is:
"Dearly held treasure?"
"...a people entrusted with keeping his commandments, a people set high above all other nations that he's made, high in praise, fame, and honor: you're a people holy to God, your God..."
I'm sorry, Lord, what does that mean for me in my tenuous situation right now? If I follow You with all my heart, I'm Your treasure and set apart for a place of honor?
But my mind reels, Lord knows I try to live for Him with all that I have and when I realize I can't, ask Him to live in me and through me and my obvious weakness. But I confess I fail.
Everyday I mess up.
So why do I deserve any good thing from the Lord as opposed to anyone else?
I continued reading: Deuteronomy 28:1-6 - (The Message)
1-6If you listen obediently to the Voice of God, your God, and heartily obey all his commandments that I command you today,God, your God, will place you on high, high above all the nations of the world. All these blessings will come down on you and spread out beyond you because you have responded to the Voice of God, your God: God's blessing inside the city, God's blessing in the country; God's blessing on your children, the crops of your land, the young of your livestock, the calves of your herds, the lambs of your flocks. God's blessing on your basket and bread bowl; God's blessing in your coming in, God's blessing in your going out.
Again the condition, 'If' "you heartily obey...He will place you on high...blessings will come down on you..."
and a little further on in verses 8-9:
8God will order a blessing on your barns and workplaces; he'll bless you in the land that God, your God, is giving you.
9God will form you as a people holy to him, just as he promised you, if you keep the commandments of God, your God, and live the way he has shown you.
D-d-does that mean what I want it to mean? Are You giving me a place? Because that's what I really need, Lord! "A people holy to Him?" I'm not sure how that applies. I know what You meant for the Israelites, Lord, but do You have a similar plan for the Hendersons here? Because You know, there is nothing I would love more, to have my family be set apart for You, to bring glory and fame to Your Name. I don't know, Lord.
And then my eyes alighted on words I have heard my parents quote often. Oh dear. Verses 11-14 says: 11-14God will lavish you with good things: children from your womb, offspring from your animals, and crops from your land, the land that God promised your ancestors that he would give you. God will throw open the doors of his sky vaults and pour rain on your land on schedule and bless the work you take in hand. You will lend to many nations but you yourself won't have to take out a loan. God will make you the head, not the tail; you'll always be the top dog, never the bottom dog, as you obediently listen to and diligently keep the commands of God, your God, that I am commanding you today. Don't swerve an inch to the right or left from the words that I command you today by going off following and worshiping other gods.
"The head, not the tail..." Oh my. I have lived the life of the tail for so long, it feels like my destiny, what I deserve. Oh Lord, I want to take a hold of the life of the 'head' and I know I can't if I am not obedient. Please show me clearly what You are commanding today of me. I desire nothing more than to do Your will and for my family to be blessed of You as they follow after You alone.
So after I read this, Mike and I went looking for places, driving by and on the internet. All discouraging. Nothing that screamed God's intervention. And that's exactly what I expect. And that is what I will wait for while my human flesh cries out for resolution which means settling for the least unfavorable like we did last year.
6 Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving,continue to make your wants known to God.
7 And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shallgarrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Tonight I listened to John MacArthur speak on Thankful Prayer and it spoke to a condition of my heart: its lack of tranquility.
I have been experiencing bouts of anxiety, panic, fear, despair, and hopelessness as I contemplate the waves of the stuff of my life. And it is not minor.
Major issues like finding a place to live and the money to do so.
Wanting stability and security especially for my children.
Yes, I have prayed. So why the lack of peace?
As I listened to MacArthur as he preached on the above Scripture, he pointed out that the prayer is accompanied by thanksgiving. I also noted the word continue.
I have not thanked God for this state of affairs. In fact I have felt seriously betrayed by Him. Or felt unworthy to receive any favours from Him. And so at times I stop praying for this.
Then the thoughts come: Why bother if it's futile? After all, this has been my life for more years than I care to remember.
What I see here, is that I have been disobedient and unbelieving. The disobedience (to thank and continue) stemmed from my unbelief in God's love for me, which Satan then grasped to his advantage and whispered the lie that my prayers were futile.
If I believe that God is sovereign (I do!), that He has my 'back' all the time, then indeed I can know for a fact that there is an overarching purpose in my circumstances. My directive is to keep my eyes turned to Him, not to human agents or the waves of distress.
The verse continues that it is that peace which will act as a guard, a military term, on my heart and mind from the tormenting anxious thoughts and lies.
And so tonight, Lord, I repent of my unbelief and disobedience. I thank You for these circumstances that are changing me eternally as I submit to Your perfect plan for my life. Forgive me of dreaming that human agents will 'rescue' me and save the day. Forgive me for lacking in confidence that You care. Lord, help my unbelief and help me to keep my eyes on You. Indeed, You are most worthy 'and the things of this earth will grow strangely dim in the light of Your glory and grace'.
I surrender to Your loving sovereignty with gratitude that You are working.
Tonight I accept the gift of Your peace that passes all understanding.
"Peace, peace, sweet peace, Wonderful gift from above, Oh, wonderful, wonderful peace, Sweet peace, the gift of God’s love."
(Refrain from Sweet Peace, The Gift of God's Love: Peter P. Bilhorn, 1887
Isaiah 49:16(AMP) Behold, I have indelibly imprinted (tattooed a picture of) you on the palm of each of My hands;
Psalm 139:1, 13-14(AMP) O Lord, you have searched me [thoroughly] and have known me.13 For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother’s womb.14 I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well.
I remember that time long ago. A friend had just started attending church and I was introducing her to people when she asked me, "Is she 'somebody'?" That made me uncomfortable.
Many years later, I have seen my friend acquire friends who are 'somebodies' by earthly standards. I am no longer on her radar. Invitations to me stopped quite a while back. Could it be that I'm not a 'somebody'? Maybe, or it could be that I could not attend several events that required some travel and gifts. And I couldn't. Many times over the past several years, all I could afford was to take my kids to school and church. No vacations. No invitations. It probably did hurt but I don't feel the sting any longer.
True friendships are weeded out in hard times. I have the gems that God gifted me with and I am grateful that they have not turned their backs on me. I'm sure I hurt them when I had to say 'no' many times. They could have taken that personally. They did not. Because they 'knew' me.
Just like God. He knows me. I am always 'somebody' to Him. I am engraved in the palm of His Hands. So when someone treats me like I don't matter, well, it really doesn't matter. For, I matter to Him. And you do, too.
This past week, I confess I've wanted to curl up like a baby, put my hands over my ears, and close my eyes, cross my fingers, hoping beyond hope that I will wake up to realize that present circumstances were just a dream, not real. 
