What Was I Thinking?!

Once upon a time there was a little girl who loved listening to stories of missionaries. She was especially drawn to the idea of being a...doctor...

in a far away place, lush and tropical, perhaps Africa in the jungles...

where there breeds in great proliferation such specimens like these...

As she grew up, her heart for the Lord grew, and another role model loomed in the tiny figure of ...

yes, Mother Teresa, caring for the poor and sick...

but, something happened as she grew up into young womanhood. Whenever she saw or smelled signs of disease, or even food gone bad, she turned this...

...and sitting in her front yard, she raised her feet in great dismay ...there were ants crawling on the grass!

(From L->R, my sister, nephew, Mom, Dad, and me worrying about those ants!)

Yes, her father was quite amused at his 'missionary daughter'.

And even now, as I look back, "What was I thinking?!"

Noble plans and thoughts from a little girl's heart, But God knew...

Her present life is not what she envisioned. In fact at times, when she sees missionary presentations, she sees other people living out her life, what she thought it would be...

Currently, she is an urban housewife, with 2 sons. Her life is being written by God who has a plan for her, to be transformed into His image, to advance His kingdom in the lives of others as well as in herself....in a different way. Her love for God and humanity has not changed but has been given different venues for expression...

Suffering has been the keynote of that 'transformation', but inexpressible joy has been interspersed to give her a glimpse of her final destination, heaven, reunited fully with her King, her Creator, her Bridegroom, her Heavenly Father.

Dear sisters in blogland, what a day it will be when my Jesus I shall see...and you who love Him too...a grand reunion!

Isaiah 55:8-11 (The Message)

"I don't think the way you think.

The way you work isn't the way I work."

God's Decree.

"For as the sky soars high above earth,

so the way I work surpasses the way you work,

and the way I think is beyond the way you think.

Just as rain and snow descend from the skies

and don't go back until they've watered the earth,

Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,

producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,

So will the words that come out of my mouth

not come back empty-handed.

They'll do the work I sent them to do,

they'll complete the assignment I gave them.

12-13"So you'll go out in joy,

you'll be led into a whole and complete life.

The mountains and hills will lead the parade,

bursting with song.

All the trees of the forest will join the procession,

exuberant with applause.

No more thistles, but giant sequoias,

no more thornbushes, but stately pines—

Monuments to me, to God,

living and lasting evidence of God."

Sing with me, Lord, Reign In Me...You are the Lord of all I am...

Sisterhood

Recently I received an unexpected kindness, a blessing of an award from Joy at Ponderings.

As the name says, it is a sisterhood award, for someone who has been like a sister to you, caring, thoughtful, ministering, just being with you, the things that sisters do usually. The 'sisters' listed below are by no means the only ones who minister to me, but who have frequently and thoughtfully connected with me on a deeply personal note. I just want to say 'thank you' to all of them.

I need to pass this on to other bloggers who represent these traits to me. So here in no particular order are 'sisters' I still am humbled that they give me the time of day:

1. Joy at Ponderings. Right back at ya. Your sweet spirit, gentle encouragement, vulnerability, faithfulness, kindness, flows through your writing and emails and comments. And that awesome smile! Wow! She lives right here in Ontario, Canada.

2. Cheryl at Perpectives on Life and Perspectives on Writing is my childhood sister, a passionate and disciplined and prolific writer, a faithful and loyal friend. She lives in the island of Trinidad & Tobago.

3. Elaine at Peace For The Journey. Wow, this sister has blessed me beyond words, with her artistry in words and friendship. She has the gift of teaching. Her wisdom, kindness and thoughtfulness have ministered to me deeply. She lives in the USA.

4. Lidia at Crown of Beauty hails from the Phillipines. I thank God for His divine leading me to her. She is the mentor I wish lived next door to me. Like Elaine, she has the gift of teaching. She is a quiet intellect who ponders, like Mary, 'these things' in her heart, filtering them through His Word and Presence. Her recounting of God's-story in her-story resonates many times deep in me.

5. Gail at Job 19:25 He Lives is a new sister, whose comments are always like drops of dew, laced with kindness and sweet encouragement, full of wisdom. She has a heart of mercy and compassion. I see Jesus in her. She lives in the USA.

6. Amrita at Yesu Garden comes from the land of my ancestors, India. Her blog is unique, giving reality shocks to westerners about life in the Third World; her photos and anecdotes of her daily life are humorous, delightful and sometimes heart wrenching. Above all, her faith stands firm, strong, and a witness to all who flock to her blog, which includes many non-Christians.

7. Valerie at Welcome Spring is the first 'stranger' to comment on my new blog. She saw a comment I made on LPM (Beth Moore's blog) and popped by. Since then, she has shown what a big heart she has to all bloggers who interact with her. Ever encouraging, she warms our heart with her pics and anecdotes of her family and friends. She is in the USA.

8. Saija at Thro' a Glass Darkly is a genuine gem of wisdom, mercy, kindness and compassion. Her words are few but because they have gone through her heart and life, they impact you eternally. She always responds graciously and promptly to comments by email. She lives in Canada.

A Love That Will Grow

(Phillipians 1:3-6 The Message)

Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart. I am so pleased that you have continued on in this with us, believing and proclaiming God's Message, from the day you heard it right up to the present. There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.

Please feel free to pass along this award to your 'sisters'.

Then Sings My Soul Saturday

In the last session in the Esther Bible study I am doing, Beth mentioned that the most frequent command in the Bible is "Do not fear." She posed this question to us, "What if your life had no fear, what would it be like?"

I thought about this and it struck me, my life would be light, I would be able to fly, there would be no fear to debilitate, incapacitate, paralyze me. Wow! She went on to quote from Esther who was facing a life and death situation, and had to make a choice. Her response, "If I perish, I perish." In other words, if her worst fear of death was realized, then so be it. Behind this was the knowledge of God's Providence, the God of the Jews Who had delivered them and carried them and sustained them throughout their history.

What is your worst case scenario? Most times, what we worry about does not happen. But when Satan is aware of your fear, he torments you with it. The only way for a surrendered heart to neutralize him is by saying, if so and so happens, God has not left me, He is still with me. Yes, I may be devastated for a while, but I will get up! He has promised to redeem, restore and advance His kingdom in the life of the believer who simply obeys and trusts.

Yesterday, a huge wave of anxiety struck me and for once I became angry and locked myself in my room and started to read Scripture purposefully and pray. I did not want to cower, but like Esther, to put on my royal robes as a princess and take a stand, even while trembling. I want to be free.

Do you have waves of fear? Then attack it head on, with His love, His truth. I plan to do that. I looked for a song with words that apply. So, sing with me.
Then pop by Amy's to hear more songs that minister.

Isaiah 41:10 (Amplified Bible)
Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.




Lyrics:
I will lift you from all your fear
You will hear my voice
I claim you as my choice
Be still and know I am here

I am hope for all who are hopeless
I am eyes for all who long to see
In the shadows of the night
I will be your light
Come and rest in me

Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

I am strength for all the despairing
Healing for the ones who dwell in shame
All the blind will see
The lame will run free
And all will know my name

Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

And how does that glorify...?

The other day I picked up my 15-year-old from his youth group and asked how it was, expecting the usual ", Oh, Good..." followed by silence.

Except he surprised me. He started..."They gave us a sheet of 4 questions from a Bible passage and I thought to myself...oooh lame! But Mom, it wasn't, it was an awesome discussion. We had this question on sexual immorality..."
At which point, my precocious 11-year-old in the back pipes up with a cheeky grin..."ooh... that sounds stimulating.." My older son and I just turned and looked at him. My 15-year-old said.."dude, are you 11 years old?" Gotta love him.

Anyway, my son continued, "this girl asked if it was OK to give a guy a peck on the cheek and I did not say it, but I wanted to ask, "if we we are here to glorify God in all that we do, how does that glorify Him? What's the intent here, to pursue a physical relationship or to glorify God?"
OK! I admit I was stunned into silence while my insides were bursting "YEA!" Wow, he got it! Thank you, God!
Outwardly, I just said calmly,
"You should have said it out loud, dude.... people need to hear what you have to say. God has given you discernment and wisdom beyond your age."

So out of the mouths of babes, how simple is that in terms of the one question,
"How does that glorify Him, is that my intent?"

Colossians 3: 16b, 17, 23 (The Message)

And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.
Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you'll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you're serving is Christ.

I invite you to think about all you do today and how you do it and why you do it and ask yourself that question.

Lord, Why Can't I Have Automatic Updates?

Today I installed a new internet security. One of the most comforting features is the automatic updates of software. These updates protect my computer from the ongoing threats of malware, worms, viruses created by malicious, power-hungry, brilliant and manipulative minds whose goals may include: destruction of your system, diminished, sluggish performance, stealing your information, controlling your system, using your system to invite damage to other users.

As believers, we have the security of the Protector and live with the threats from the destroyer.

The Destroyer:

Ok, it is easy to grasp the analogy to that power that seeks to kill and destroy the lives of believers. Satan is real and brilliant. He prowls around, seeking whom he may devour.

1 Peter 5:8 (NIV) says, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

He takes note of the chinks in our armour, and has a vast delegation of demons assigned to harass the believer, diminish us, render us incapacitated. But he does NOT have the power to destroy the believer, because we have the Holy Spirit in us, He Who is greater.

1 John 4:4 (NIV) says "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."

John 10:6-10 (The Message)

Jesus told this simple story, but they had no idea what he was talking about. So he tried again. "I'll be explicit, then. I am the Gate for the sheep. All those others are up to no good—sheep stealers, every one of them. But the sheep didn't listen to them. I am the Gate. Anyone who goes through me will be cared for—will freely go in and out, and find pasture. A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.

The Protector:

Indeed, He is our Protector from the destroyer. But the thing is, that abundant life simply does NOT come in automatic updates, as much as I wish it did. For you see, that would eliminate the role of 'relationship' between the Protector and me. That part of my 'walk' that needs to daily come to Him and draw from His power all that is needed to 'live' fully today for Him.

2 Peter 1:3 (Amplified Bible) says, "For His divine power has bestowed upon us all things that [are requisite and suited] to life and godliness, through the [full, personal] knowledge of Him Who called us by and to His own glory and excellence (virtue).

Then those weeds that pop up to choke His life in me won't have any room to put roots, weeds like my own strength, anxiety, fear, anger...you know...the slip-ups I make daily as a mother, wife, human being. Although the Holy Spirit is in me, I need to actively appropriate His power in me, actively work out my salvation.

[ Note that this does not mean having a "Martha mentality" of doing to please, but rather being like Mary in communion with Him.] The Christian walk stagnates and burns out in a passive state. Let us get up and out of our tents to go and gather the manna. Let us activate His power daily.

Bear in mind, however, that God does not need our action in order to release His power. He can do so anytime He wishes. In fact there are times when a crisis may send us into 'shock' where we are unable to 'come' to Him. In those times, we can find a Shepherd Who lifts us up and carries us.

Pray with me:

Psalm 51 (The Message)

1-3 Generous in love—God, give grace!

Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.

Scrub away my guilt,

soak out my sins in your laundry.

I know how bad I've been;

my sins are staring me down.

4-6 You're the One I've violated,

and you've seen it all,

seen the full extent of my evil.

You have all the facts before you;

whatever you decide about me is fair.

I've been out of step with you for a long time,

in the wrong since before I was born.

What you're after is truth from the inside out.

Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.

7-15 Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean,

scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life.

Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,

set these once-broken bones to dancing.

Don't look too close for blemishes,

give me a clean bill of health.

God, make a fresh start in me,

shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.

Don't throw me out with the trash,

or fail to breathe holiness in me.

Bring me back from gray exile,

put a fresh wind in my sails!

Give me a job teaching rebels your ways

so the lost can find their way home.

Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,

and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.

Unbutton my lips, dear God;

I'll let loose with your praise.

16-17 Going through the motions doesn't please you,

a flawless performance is nothing to you.

I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered.

Heart-shattered lives ready for love

don't for a moment escape God's notice.

18-19 Make Zion the place you delight in,

repair Jerusalem's broken-down walls.

Then you'll get real worship from us,

acts of worship small and large,

Including all the bulls they can heave onto your altar!

Do you need to draw strength?

Then I invite you to listen and sing along with Sandi Patty, as she invites you to draw from the Source of that strength, as she sings In The Name of the Lord.

In The Name Of The Lord

Crowds Have Lined The Narrow Street

To See This Man From Galilee

Just A Carpenter Some Say Leading Fools Astray

Yet Many Kneel To Give Him Praise

And In His Eyes They Glimpse The Power

That Sees The Heart Of All Men

And He Knows His Father's Mind

And He Speaks His Father's Words

For He Comes In The Name Of The Lord

There Is Strength In The Name Of The Lord

There Is Power In The Name Of The Lord

There Is Hope In The Name Of The Lord

Blessed Is He Who Comes In The Name Of The Lord

When My Plans Have Fallen Through

And When My Strength Is Nearly Gone

When There's Nothing Left To Do

But Just Depend On You

And The Power Of Your Name

And When We Call Upon Your Name

Your Strength Through Weakness To Show

We Can Know The Master Plan

Extend The Master's Hand

When We Come In The Name Of The Lord

There Is Strength In The Name Of The Lord

There Is Power In The Name Of The Lord

There Is Hope In The Name Of The Lord

Blessed Is He Who Comes In The Name Of The Lord

His Name Will Be Worshipped Forever

Creator Redeemer And King

And King

There Is Strength In The Name Of The Lord

There Is Power In The Name Of The Lord

There Is Hope In The Name Of The Lord

Blessed Is He Who Comes

Blessed Is He Who Comes

Blessed Is He Who Comes

In The Name Of The Lord

In The Name Of The Lord

Then Sings My Soul Saturday

Well, ladies, a peculiar 'lightheartedness' has invaded my heart in recent times. I think it is called 'hope': Christ's resurrection power, the new life of spring, and did I mention it is warmer and sunnier?

So, let me invite you to let your soul sing with laughter, or perhaps guffaws, as you listen to Mark Lowry in my previous post. If you have 2 sons and you do not belong to the perfectly composed sect of women, you will enjoy this.

Then if you really just wanted to sing, not explode, pop over to Amy's to hear songs that minister.

Hey, I'm not the only one....

...imploding! In fact, there are a 'number' of us who don't quite fit into the category of gentle stoicism...

as Mark Lowry's

"Mamma Had Enough!"

shows...

Take a break from the 'cry with me' (-;
to laugh with me (-: !!!

I Will Rise Again!

10[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [[a]which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope] 11 That if possible I may attain to the [spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body].
Phillippians 3:10-11 (The Amplified Bible)

This is dedicated to my childhood friend, Cheryl, who brought back this song to my attention in my last post. Indeed, there is no power on earth that can keep us back from rising again, for Jesus said, "I will rise again!" Therein lies the hope of the believer, the fellowship of His resurrection.

I invite you to pop by Peter's blog where he posts victoriously that he did rise again from the pit of depression. Your pit today might be different: financial, marital, prodigal children, chronic illness. Whatever it may be, I pray that you too will know the fellowship of His resurrection, new life from death.

Like Peter did, go to Jesus, He is waiting for you to come to Him.
Now, listen to Rise Again by Dallas Holm.



Rise Again
Musician: Dallas Holm & Praise

Go ahead, drive the nails in My hands;
Laugh at me... where you stand.
Go ahead, and say it isn't Me;
The day will come... when you will see.

(Refrain)
'Cause I'll rise.... again;
Ain't no power on earth can keep Me down!
Yes, I'll rise... again;
Death can't keep Me in the ground.

Go ahead, mock My name;
My love for you is still the same.
Go ahead, and bury Me;
But very soon, I will be free!

(Refrain)
Go ahead, and say I'm dead and gone,
But you will see that you were wrong.
Go ahead, try to hide the Son;
But all will see that I'm the One!

(Final refrain)
'Cause I'll come again!
Ain't no power on earth can keep me back!
Yes, I'll come again;
Come to take My people back.

Jesus has Overcome!

Easter Sunday...
...The day after Saturday...
when the followers of Jesus were at their lowest,
their dream of a Messiah shattered,
their hearts broken with the loss of Someone...
Who had invaded their hearts with a love that satisfied,
their 'theology' in question as they faced their doubts...
"this is not what was supposed to happen..."

Then Sunday came...
The stone had been rolled away...
He had conquered death...
He had arisen...
Now I understand what He said...
The Messiah indeed has come...

Rejoice with me as Chris Tomlin sings I Will Rise...

Then Sings My Soul Saturday

Last night our family watched the movie Amazing Grace in our family time and we were all moved deeply. Afterwards, we discussed what Jesus had done in the light of what we saw. My younger son asked me to play this song, because he said it came to his mind. After we listened to the words, we agreed it was a God-thing as we reflect on Easter. As you listen, I ask that you also reflect on the words.

*** I also invite you to go to one post down to listen to the story of The Ragman if you have never heard it before. I assure you that you will be blessed.

Then pop on over to Amy's to hear more songs that minister. Now listen to The Newsboys singing In Christ Alone. Have a Blessed Easter Sunday.

"In Christ Alone"

Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend

Copyright © 2001 Kingsway Thankyou Music

In Christ alone my hope is found;

He is my light, my strength, my song;

This cornerstone, this solid ground,

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love,

what depths of peace,

When fears are stilled,

when strivings cease!

My comforter, my all in all

—Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,

Fullness of God in helpless babe!

This gift of love and righteousness,

Scorned by the ones He came to save.

Till on that cross as Jesus died,

The wrath of God was satisfied;

For ev'ry sin on Him was laid

—Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,

Light of the world by darkness slain;

Then bursting forth in glorious day,

Up from the grave He rose again!

And as He stands in victory,

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;

For I am His and He is mine

—Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death

—This is the pow'r of Christ in me;

From life's first cry to final breath,

Jesus commands my destiny.

No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,

Can ever pluck me from His hand;

Till He returns or calls me home

—Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

CCLI No:3350395.

For this reason Christ came...

This morning I went to my son's school assembly. There for the first time, I heard The Ragman by Walter Wangerin, Jr. from "Ragman and Other Cries of Faith". I sat spellbound as one of the teachers read a story that reached my heart with the depiction of Christ's work here on earth. I found another reading on YouTube. Listen prayerfully and be blessed with a heart of gratitude for our Lord whose love we cannot comprehend.

Let us break Bread together...

**Community thus far:
Amrita - India
Sita - Canada
Lidia - Phillipines
===============================

Today, Holy Thursday, is marked by many Christians around the world in celebrating communion, remembering the Last Supper before the crucifixion of our Lord. (Our church will have communion tomorrow on Good Friday.)

On Amrita's blog, she featured the song, Let Us Break Bread Together. I would like to join as a community of believers around the world in singing this. Here is another version.

Perhaps another blogger in another part of the world would like to join this 'global community' and post this song as well.

Then Sings My Soul Saturday

Hey Ladies, today I am not featuring a sacred song, so if that is what you are seeking, please pop over to Amy's to be ministered to spiritually. Today's music is intended to 'lift' you, right off the ground! It is a music to 'jump to the beat' that I needed yesterday when the 'Trini-blues' descended on a day that broke a Canadian record for rainfall.

Allow me to introduce you to the music of Trinidad and Tobago on my previous post. Have a great day!

Just because I am homesick today...

Hey, it's gray, it's raining, and it's left me longing for a time...this clip was actually put together by someone else feeling the same....
Beware!..it's got that Caribbean beat - soca/calypso - that gets your limbs and torso moving!

A Sober Reminder

Reading from My Utmost For His Highest this morning...

Helpful or Heartless Toward Others?
"Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God."

Romans 8:34, 27

Do we need any more arguments than these to become intercessors-that Christ "always lives to make intercession" (Hebrews 7:25), and that the Holy Spirit "makes intercession for the saints"? Are we living in such a relationship with others that we do the work of intercession as a result of being the children of God who are taught by His Spirit? We should take a look at our current circumstances. Do crises which affect us or others in our home, business, country, or elsewhere, seem to be crushing in on us? Are we being pushed out of the presence of God and left with no time for worship? If so, we must put a stop to such distractions and get into such a living relationship with God that our relationship with others is maintained through the work of intercession, where God works His miracles.

Beware of getting ahead of God by your very desire to do His will. We run ahead of Him in a thousand and one activities, becoming so burdened with people and problems that we don’t worship God, and we fail to intercede. If a burden and its resulting pressure come upon us while we are not in an attitude of worship, it will only produce a hardness toward God and despair in our own souls. God continually introduces us to people in whom we have no interest, and unless we are worshiping God the natural tendency is to be heartless toward them. We give them a quick verse of Scripture, like jabbing them with a spear, or leave them with a hurried, uncaring word of counsel before we go. A heartless Christian must be a terrible grief to our Lord.

Are our lives in the proper place so that we may participate in the intercession of our Lord and the Holy Spirit?

Father, help me to live in Your Presence so that I never jab anyone with a thoughtless 'word'. May my words not maim and wound, but may they be drops of living dew to those arid and bruised places in people's hearts. In the Precious Name of Jesus, I pray, Amen.