Second-hand information skews your vision; God's vision cleans your filter.

Several years ago,a parent from the school my son formerly attended told me that she heard about me wanting to leave the school and the reason we stayed. I listened to her in astonishment. Not one word was true. Yet she was totally convinced of it. It dawned on me that gossip is still alive and well in Christian environments. 
It gave me time to ponder the question as to why people so readily believe second-hand information or as I prefer to call it, "gossip"?
First of all, in this case scenario, the person my friend heard it from carried credibility which lent validity to the information.
Second, it sounds perfectly consistent with circumstances involved.
Third, why not? They did not know me.

(Photo Credit)

I don't know about you, but I have been the 'victim' of second-hand gossip a lot.
For example, most of the people in my church don't 'know' me, as in, I have never shared my heart with them, so they would readily believe any second-hand information they receive about me, especially if it came from someone they 'believe' in, like a Prayer Ministry leader, like a pastor, like a trusted member.
So, most people view me through second-hand information eyes. E.g, I was sharing with one person a past detail and she responded that she had heard "...that..." I have met complete strangers who have treated me with such hostility and long after I found out that they were friends with someone who felt terribly wounded by us.
I don't know about you, but I believe that all second-hand information is filtered through the life experience of the one sharing it. It is never the pure unfiltered truth.

Then there are the ones I have called 'friends' with whom I have shared my heart, but when they hear this gossip, it shakes them and they question their 'knowledge' of me. For some, it is no longer to their advantage to have me in their circle of friendship. I no longer make them look good. Consequently, their behaviour towards me changes. Avoidance, coolness.

Then there remains 2 or 3, who if they heard the gossip readily filter it through their history with me, and may mention it to me but it never interferes with the trust and relationship. Loyalty. Grace, perhaps. Trust. 
This reaction is typically what you should find in 'family' relationships. We can knock each other and make fun of each other's quirks and faults, but there is an unconditional love that undergirds all.

Maybe that is why I have often pondered whether we should change churches, go somewhere no one knows us or has 'heard' of us. But you know what, gossips attend every church, so eventually the same would happen. That is life.

We as humans have a tendency to take control our lives and part of that entails placing people into categories. That is why stereotypes, prejudices, and social classes flourish. We filter people and their behaviour through our life experience. I know of one mother-in-law who projected all her own machinations on to her innocent daughter-in-law who was nothing like her.

One of the effects of clinical depression is that you don't have the energy to wear masks or defend yourself, so I don't bother. And so, my stick-with-me friends can be counted on one hand and I am grateful.

It is so good to know that there is One Who knows it all. Every nook and cranny of my heart, the ugly, the good. And He stubbornly holds on to my hand and heart with a love that says "I will never leave you."
And He tells me, "Show my love".

I will be honest, it has been hard, as it is only in the past 2 or 3 years that some past pain from a traumatic event in my life has surfaced, and I was able to see the tremendous toll it took. So God has been working on my heart, numbed and disconnected for some time. And I have hope that I will feel forgiveness and freedom once again.
But only through His Love.
Love. His essence. Necessary to breathe in and out clean air, air filtered and cleansed of anger and bitterness through His Love.
Breathe on me, Breath of God.



Breathe on me, breath of God:
fill me with life anew,
that as you love, so I may love
and do what you would do.

Breathe on me, breath of God,
until my heart is pure,
until my will is one with yours
to do and to endure.

Breathe on me, breath of God;
fulfil my heart's desire,
until this broken part of me
glows with your heavenly fire.

Breathe on me, breath of God;
so shall I never die,
but live with you the perfect life
of your eternity.

Breathe on me breath of God

Words: Edwin Hatch, (1835-1889)
Music: Trentham, Robert Jackson (1840-1914)