His Presence: the antidote to anxiety

(reposting thoughts from 2007 on A Woman's Heart, God's Dwelling Place, the Beth Moore study I am repeating.)

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Exodus 33:14 (The Holy Bible, NIV)

The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

...or "I will dispel your anxiety."

That was a key verse in the Beth Moore study today. I was starting to feel a bit emotional about my father's medical condition. By the afternoon, I was seriously put to the test.

Satan is so predictable, it's not even funny. I had just finished buying groceries with my Mom, and got into the van to go pick up my 9-yr-old. Turned the key.
Well, all I got was a clicking sound.
My breathing stopped momentarily. I tried again. Same thing.
My breathing resumed with accelerated speed.  
Didn't our roadside assistance expire?
Since my mother was there, I had to act like I was mature, right?  
SO, what do I do!? 

Yep, that was the question that kept hammering at my brain which had suddenly been erased of common sense. 

So, I had to go to my husband's brain. (Risky(-; hahaha). 

Called on the cell. Busy. Ok. Checked time.
Had to be at the school in 10 minutes.
Called the school. Told them I was stuck at the plaza.

The principal responded, "It's not that far of a walk. I'll tell your son so he's not waiting and worrying."
"Right", I said. OK, so what do I do? "

Mom, you can stay here while I walk..[oops, I have to wait for my other son for 1/2 hour.] So, I'll be back, Mom.
[Mom busy praying.] 

Tried hubby again. Busy. My hands were shaking. Sure sign I was losing control somewhere. Suddenly the distance from the plaza to school seemed like 100 miles.

Lightbulb moment. TTC bus!
OK, Mom, have a toonie? Yep.
So off I went, my legs shaky. Bus came almost immediately. Wow, had the TTC gone hi-tech on me? Announced my stop. Wow. Surreal. Got off in 3 minutes flat. As I walked to the school, I decided not to give in to panic or anxiety. 

Yep, that verse came back to me. So, instead of praying desperate prayers for deliverance, I prayed and sang, "Bread of heaven, feed me till I want no more. Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole."

In 3 more minutes, I was there. Aaah, a bench. Sat down to support my unsteady legs. Tried hubby while waiting to see my son. Victory. 

I heard that male, sensible, voice. Oh, God is good... 

He just calmed me by just thinking through 'what to do.' He would call to check our roadside assistance status. Yep, he had to tell me to call a friend, the same friend who rescued me the last time something went wrong with the van. 

Called. 

My friend answered. She took over talking since after giving her the gist, I lost my eloquence..."ummmm...I don't know what to do.ummmmm".. 

Only a good friend will refrain from shouting, "Get it together!" 

She calmly advised me [like my hubby had done] she would pick us up. She came, we went to pick up Mom.

Tried the van. Clicking sound.
Tried again, click, then it started!
Turned off as if I could not believe it.
Tried again. Yup, click, then it started.
My friend had already left to pick up my other son, so I chased them feeling very insecure.

The van seemed to be functioning as if it was a depressed human being, me. 

There was no lustre. Know what I mean?

Alright, hurry up now...we all got home.
Had tea with my friend. Feeling so disoriented.
Asked my hubby to come home please as we still had to check out the van.
He came, he went. It was our battery. All charged out.

New battery needed.

Money that we do not have.

What was that verse again?

"My Presence will go with you..I will dispel your anxiety.." He allows struggles for me to hunger Him..."...

So, that's where I am right now...looking to Him..looking for Him.
Need a heart battery Spirit-charge.
Will you look with me?

Father, I come to You, let my heart be changed, renewed, flowing from the grace that I've found in You...Father, Bread of heaven, feed me till I want no more...I'm all Yours...Your Presence is with me....I love You, Lord. Amen.

Be Not Afraid

(John Michael Talbot)

1.
You shall cross the barren desert, but you shall not die of thirst.
You shall wander far in safety though you do not know the way.
You shall speak your words in foreign lands and all will understand.
You shall see the face of God and live.

R.
Be not afraid.
I go before you always.
Come follow me, and
I will give you rest.

2.
If you pass through raging waters in the sea, you shall not drown.
If you walk amid the burning flames, you shall not be harmed.
If you stand before the pow'r of hell and death is at your side, know that
I am with you through it all.

3.
Blessed are your poor, for the kingdom shall be theirs.
Blest are you that weep and mourn, for one day you shall laugh.
And if wicked men insult and hate you all because of me, blessed, blessed are you!