2016 - Surprised by JOY!

Psalm 16:11 (AMP)

You will show me the path of life;

In Your Presence is fullness of JOY;

In Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore. 

Acts 2:28 (AMP)

'You have made known to me the ways of life;

You will fill me [infusing my soul] with JOY with Your Presence.'

Galatians 5:22 (AMP)

But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His Presence in us]

is love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness...

Philippians 3:8 (AMP)

But more than that I count everything as loss compared

to the priceless privilege and supreme advantage of knowing Christ my Lord

[and of growing more deeply and thoroughly acquainted with Him

- a JOY unequaled -]

For His sake I have lost everything,

and I consider it all garbage,

so that I may gain Christ
John 15:10-11 (AMP)

If you keep my commandments and obey My teaching,
you will remain in my love,
just as I have kept My Father's commandments and remain in His love.
I have told you these things so that
My JOY and delight may be in you, 
and that your JOY may be made full and complete and overflowing.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words; so here are a couple of thousand words for you:

Joy with my family: (L-R) Daniel, Nathan, Dad, Mom, Sita, Mike

Joy with Daniel - Nov11, 2015

Joy with Mike

Joy with Dad

Joy with Nathan

Joy with Mom

These pictures tell a story of God restoring to me the joy of my salvation.

Thank You, Lord!

For more than 17 years, I have had a deep pool of sadness the left me unable to feel joy. It is the reason I have very few photos of me during this time. It felt abhorrent to 'fake' smiles I could not feel deep down.

This pool of sadness happened when a series of circumstances piled one on top of the other with no room or time or resources to process and filter through God and His Word as had been my practice.

What resulted was that pool becoming a pond of despondency covered with the scum of anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, prayerlessness, unbelief...and more than I can name...

This left me easily offended, cold, and numb.
Dead inside.
So I functioned in rote mode.

Ugh! I disliked me intensely!

I lost a few treasured friends who wished I "would get over it" and who could not walk with me through it.

But it had to be God's timing.

First, I had to have the roots of Love to take me back to the place where it all began.

I sang and prayed:

Breathe on me, Breath of God,
Fill me with life anew,
That I may love what Thou dost love,
And do what Thou wouldst do.
(Edwin Hatch, 1878)

I had to look at the devastation left in the wake of the wounds. It was huge!
(I realized for the first time why people were granted such huge sums for pain and suffering in lawsuits--the sum of their robbed potential productivity!)
I had to grieve the losses.

I had to release my desire for reparation and justice from those who had wounded me.
In other words, I had to forgive.
Like a plunger used to unclog a blocked sink, this surrender to Him spewed out the scum and left His sweet Spirit flowing freely down to that pool which had been transformed into a reservoir of joy.
Suddenly, I felt the way the 'old' me used to feel, my heart grew oh so tender. Sweet love and joy flooded my being.

It clicked!
THIS is what I was made for! This connection with Him!
Nothing can equal that joy I felt right at that moment when I felt united with Him at my core!
Reunited!

Joy with my God

Even when I later saw the people who had caused such pain, I felt no desire to 'let them know'.
In fact I felt a renewed love for them. His love.
It all now belonged to Him.
What was left was the memory of pain and its consequences and how God healed and redeemed.
The common suffering of humanity as Nouwen said.

I had to embrace my suffering as the suffering of humanity that would help me to walk with the hurting with compassion and not condescension.

I wish I could say since then I have been bubbling over, but what happened since has been a battle for my mind.
Literally.
Even as I write this, there is a battle.
Oooh, does Satan ever hate that I am free from His lies!
Yes, a couple of crises are ongoing, but I have to choose to dip into that reservoir of joy.
A deliberate act. At times, quite difficult.
Gospel music has been so instrumental in turning my focus away from the waves back on to Who God is, and thus flows joy and praise. This song, How Great Is Our God by Chris Tomlin, especially brought me back to Him with joy:


A friend had asked me to do a reflection on the Magnificat and I was amazed at Mary, her joy, her intimate knowledge of God and her absolute surrender to His bidding.
So, I am still His work in progress, but determined to dig into this fruit of the Spirit so freely and gracious given.

Joy!

Happy New Year 2016!

Linking up with Bonnie Gray at Faith Barista: