Beth Moore outlined God's Presence in our lives are revealed in our 2 basic needs. I will share in 2 separate posts. The first need is:
(1)-Our "with" need: We need fellowship; relationships with other people.
We need fellowship with Him.
Idolatry results when we confuse our legitimate need for friendship with our need for God Himself.
OK, I confess to idolatry. God has had to deal with me.
He allowed betrayals and rejection that revealed the inability of any human to meet that need for complete satisfaction in relationships. I am so happy that I fell in love with Jesus first before I met my hubby or else I would have expected him to live up to an impossible standard. I would like to share something I wrote when I realized my 'need' was for Him.
This is basically a conversation with God that encapsulates 3 years as a student at York University. It was a time in my life when I longed for a no-risk relationship..i.e. one in which there was no risk of betrayal, rejection….a relationship marked by absolute security. I wanted to be known by someone absolutely and loved anyway. Since I have a love of learning, I also wanted a relationship in which I could continually learn and be uplifted. I also wanted a relationship with loving accountability. It was around this time that I started studying the book of Matthew. It was here that I found that Person my heart so longed for and I literally fell in love. This person was Jesus. I have called this conversation with Him:
"An Adventure Into You."
The journey begins….
As I come to meet You every day,
I want to sit and look straight into
Your eyes…
As I would ..
With someone that I wish to know
As I would ..
With someone I am attracted to,
As I would..
With someone from whom I can learn.
I want to travel into those fathomless depths
That your eyes mirror..
Like waters, deep and mysterious
Strong, calm, and peaceful with
Undercurrents so powerful, yet so controlled.
I have heard that in You
"are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge"
This I seek to unravel..to discover..to unlock..
For I have heard that You willingly share
With those who would only take the time to listen.
"This is what the Lord says.. call to Me and
I will answer you and tell you
Great and unsearchable things you do not know.."
You have drawn a clear treasure map..
But I see the enemy lurking like a lion,
Seeking whom he may devour.
Momentarily distracted, I focus on obstacles the enemy set.
Larger and larger they loom
As my heart sinks in despair.
In desperation I cry out Your Name,
"Help me to turn and
Keep my eyes on You,
So that "the things of this earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of Your glory and grace."
As our stares lock into each other,
I feel my mind and spirit
Becoming in tune with Yours..
What an enriching emotion!
I realize that my insight and understanding of
Your words to me are growing, deepening..
How it illumines a dull and dark mind!
How it refreshes a dry and thirsty soul!
Oh, what a marvelous relationship
This is turning out to be.
You are Friend and Teacher.
But…
There is something else….Your eyes!
They seem to be piercing right through me..
Right through my heart..my soul..
The deepest and darkest corners
Covered in cobwebs and "filthy rags".
I am being exposed.
Shame and horror fill me
As You root out and expose the true intent,
The unholy and stained heart.
I look away.
Is there any place that I can hide?
You are the Holy God, the Righteous Judge.
Suddenly, Your Presence overwhelms me.
Bowed in shame, I mutter..then cry out!
"Cleanse my heart, O God!"
"Hide your face from my sins and blot out my iniquity"Time goes by so slowly
As the painful, humbling process of purification goes on..
My heart grows oh so tender
And my unworthiness before you grows.
Suddenly, the atmosphere changes,
I feel compelled to look up
As Your warmth envelops me.
I look up and straight into Your eyes,
Now brimming over with mercy,
Compassion, love and sweet forgiveness.Oh, thank You!My heart overflows with gratitude and praise..
You are my Saviour.
I do believe that I am falling in love.
Oh, to become worthy of Your love,
A fitting bride I want to be!
You are my Bridegroom!
What is that ?
"While you were yet a sinner,
I loved you…I died for you..
Nothing you do or say could add or subtract from
My perfect love for you."
Do you know what?
Tomorrow, I look forward to meeting You again.
There is so much to learn,
So much to be transformed
by the renewing of the mind.
How I long to gaze upon your Beauty,
Yet once again.
Thank you, Jesus.
The time has been precious.
Lovingly Yours,
Sita
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