Falling For Jesus

“I guess I never loved you. You never meant anything….”
Betrayed, rejected, humiliated, and helpless, I turned to God.

"Teach me, Lord..."
He began to reveal that this experience would result in “an eternal glory that far outweighs” [1] all of my suffering: an eternal oasis that would last and serve as a firm and deep foundation in future wilderness periods.

As I hungrily devoured God’s Word, I became increasingly attracted to the humanity of Jesus. I began to yearn for such a man: a man of prayer, justice, mercy; a spiritual leader; trustworthy; a man who knew me and loved me completely.

Then it clicked. This is the Man!
The following conversation shows my growing intimacy with that Person my heart so longed for. I literally fell in love.

The journey begins…

As I come to meet You every day,

I want to sit and look straight intoYour eyes…

As I would ...

With someone that I wish to know

As I would...

With someone I am attracted to,

As I would...

With someone from whom I can learn.

I want to travel into those fathomless depths

That your eyes mirror...

Like waters, deep and mysterious,

Strong, calm, and peaceful

with undercurrents so powerful,

yet so controlled.

I have heard that in You

"are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" [2]

This I seek to unravel...

to discover...to unlock...

For I have heard that You willingly share

With those who would only take the time to listen.

"This is what the Lord says...

Call to Me

and I will answer you and tell you

Great and unsearchable things you do not know...” [3]

You have drawn a clear treasure map...

But I see the enemy lurking like a lion,

Seeking whom he may devour.

Momentarily distracted,

I focus on obstacles the enemy set.

Larger and larger they loom

As my heart sinks in despair.

In desperation I cry out Your Name,

Help me to turn and

Keep my eyes on You,

So that "the things of this earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of Your glory and grace." [4]

As our stares lock into each other,

I feel my mind and spirit

Becoming in tune with Yours...

What an enriching emotion!

I realize that my insight and understanding of

Your words to me are growing, deepening...

How it illumines a dull and dark mind!

How it refreshes a dry and thirsty soul!

Oh, what a marvelous relationship

This is turning out to be.

You are Friend and Teacher.

But…There is something else….

Your eyes!

They seem to be piercing right through me...

Right through my heart...my soul...

The deepest and darkest corners

Covered in cobwebs and "filthy rags".

I am being exposed.

Shame and horror fill me

As You root out and expose the true intent,

The unholy and stained heart.

I look away.

Is there any place that I can hide?

You are the Holy God, the Righteous Judge.

Suddenly, Your Presence overwhelms me.

Bowed in shame, I mutter...then cry out!

"Cleanse my heart, O God!"

"Hide your face from my sins and blot out my iniquity"

Time goes by so slowly

As the painful, humbling process of purification goes on...

My heart grows oh so tender

And my unworthiness before you grows.

Suddenly, the atmosphere changes,

I feel compelled to look up

As Your warmth envelops me.

I look up and straight into Your eyes,

Now brimming over with mercy,

Compassion, love and sweet forgiveness.

Oh, thank You!

My heart overflows with gratitude and praise...

You are my Savior.

I do believe that I am falling in love.

Oh, to become worthy of Your love,

A fitting bride I want to be!

You are my Bridegroom!

What is that?

"While you were yet a sinner,

I loved you…I died for you...

Nothing you do or say could add or subtract from

My perfect love for you."

Do you know what?

Tomorrow, I look forward to meeting You again.

There is so much to learn,

So much to be transformed

by the renewing of the mind.

How I long to gaze upon your Beauty,

Yet once again.

Thank you, Jesus.

The time has been precious.

Lovingly Yours,

Sita

[1] 2 Corinthians 4:17, The Holy Bible, NIV Version. (Unless stated, all Scripture taken from NIV Version).
[2] Colossians 2:3
[3] Jeremiah 33:3
[4 ]Lemmel, Helen H., Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus, 1922